The Last Time I Got Into A Fight Over Something Ridiculous

     One fall day two years ago, my father, my brother, and I were hunting deer. The gun metal gray Dodge creeped up the road with the heater on. Everyone was in orange and alert to anything that moved.
     All of a sudden, a big four point mule deer stepped out of the trees about 250 yards away. I spotted it first and told Dad what I saw. We stopped and Colton said that he wanted to shoot it. Being the oldest, the one sitting shotgun, the one who spotted it first, I told him it is my deer. I had shot nothing of this size before and I was determined to shoot it.
     Colton and I argued for over three minutes of who was going to shoot it.
     The buck walked out into the open meadow more.
     I was getting madder and madder as every second passed by.
     The buck turned broadside and started smelling the air.
     I opened the door and stepped out into the brisk air. I dropped the bi pod down into position. I got down prone in the snow, aimed, and squeezed the trigger.
     I got the deer and the next week, Colton got a bigger deer at the same exact place. I was mad for a week.

Why Is Love Complicated? (A Sexist Diagnosis)

     After observing multiple cases of complicated love, I have come to a most sure conclusion after my quest of trying to find the answer.
     We all know women to have their way with everything. Everything has to be to their standards. Everything has to be done their way. The man has no say at all. Women, in general, are complicated creatures.
     Not only do they have their way, but they can't make up their mind. They'll want to do one thing, then they end up doing something the total opposite. I have seen this is the most common among all the cases I have studied.
     So why have I said all this, you say? I have only answered the question of "Why is love complicated?" It is obviously the woman's fault. How do you think the man feels when he gives his lover a gift? She wanted that last week, it's not good enough anymore! She wants something different! Why? Because she changed her mind! Imagine that! So obviously, it is not the man's fault. His heart is in love, but his mind is so confused about what the female mind will do next. Love wouldn't be as complicated, if women weren't as complicated.

A Modern Letter To William Shakespeare (Who Is Still Alive)

Dear Willy,

     Hello, friend! First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your play, Othello. You did a very good job of deception, drama, and building up suspense throughout the entire play. Later, to drop all of that suspense and drama in the couple scenes. It was great.
     Your epic twist on the opposite race of Othello and Desdemona being white and black was well done. With Othello being colored, the punishment was soon to be harsher with more drama with everyone. The whole color thing not only formed more drama from a tiny detail, but made you form an opinion about the situation and what might be coming next in the play.
     Now for the criticizing. William, you are a very perverted man. Nearly every scene had something to do with sexual content, even though it made for some good laughing times in class. How long did it take you to come up with the "black ram tupping the white ewe" saying? Not to mention all the other explicit sayings and comments. Also, how can a person be "dead" and then still speak. It is physically impossible! This created lots of controversy is class discussions.
     Once again, great work with this classic play. It is sure to be remembered forever. The play had great entertainment for everyone. Keep up the good work and I can't wait until your play!

Sincerely,

Garrett Jones